Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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