My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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