remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Someone came in the potted fern
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
