batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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