I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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