I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
