Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk

(1-914): View more from New York

It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you

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(817): View more from Texas

Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.

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(503): View more from Oregon

She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?

(503): View more from Oregon

Employee of the year! :)

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(713): View more from Texas

Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?

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(707): View more from California

After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.

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(310): View more from California

We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....

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(309): View more from Illinois

You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

thank you pre-med degree.

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