I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
