Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My feet surprised me
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
