he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize