im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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