I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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