I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
