Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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