Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
