proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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