Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
