What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need water and some morals
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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