Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
