We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i think i just lost a toe
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
