I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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