Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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