how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
