...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
