I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize