You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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