glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
