k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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