Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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