She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
