What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize