There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
