Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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