I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
