im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Randomize
