If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize