some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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