Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
