i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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