I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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