My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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