You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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