omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
