CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
