i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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