PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I'm always down for nudity.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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