I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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