I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
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