I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
this hospital has no fireball
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
