I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
