i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize