Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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