i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize