she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
