my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
