Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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