someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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