that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Bring me that man meat
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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