i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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