your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
